the bottom line......


| Posted on 7/19/2008 11:00:00 PM | Posted in

Sometimes I’m happy, most of the time I’m sad….

Often I’m a good person, sometimes I’m sssoooo Bad….

I am often misunderstood, but still I am liked……

Sometimes I’m confident, but often insecurity makes me hide…

I may seem to want a lot of things, but in reality I only CRAVED to be HUGGED

Then comes the cold hard fact, that the bottomline is still LOVE…….

wwwhhhoooaaaa... i'm rhyming once again.....

Let me share the bottomline of all the pent up emotions in my heart right now…..

1 Corinthians 13 : 2-8 .. 13

2. And if I have [the gift of] prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3. And if I give all my possessions to feed [the poor], and if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. 4. Love is patient, love is kind, [and] is not jealous; love does not brag [and] is not arrogant, 5. does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong [suffered], 6. does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8. Love never fails;

13. But now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I read this from somewhere…. Written by a certain Helen Hayes…

The truth is that there is only one terminal dignity -- love. And the story of a

love is not important -- what is important is that one is capable of love. It is

perhaps the only glimpse we are permitted of eternity.

HOW TRUE!!!!!!

My Family


| Posted on 7/19/2008 09:42:00 AM | Posted in

Me, Mama, Papa, Netey, Ra and AJ................

This is the only family picture that we have... taken i think... hhmm.. 2001...... funny that we never had a family picture.... and now we will never be complete again....

I love them so much they just don't understand me.

I am confused ....


| Posted on 7/18/2008 03:25:00 PM | Posted in

I am sort of confused.... i just want to be silent for a while and reflect.....

sharing my prayer today... please join me in prayer.

Father, I do not know what to do. I need you to guide and direct me please take control of my life. Show me the path to take.. show me spiritual wisdom and understanding... Amen.

Being childlike in Faith


| Posted on 7/16/2008 11:44:00 AM | Posted in

today's post was inspired by something i saw on tv last night. It was titled Reunions in Qtv where the show aims to reunite lost people to their families. last night's topic was about an 8 year old kid who have been separated from his family for almost 2 years. his father who is in jail was the one who asked for help to look for the kid.

it was an intensive search for the staff which led them eventually to an orphanage in Baclaran. When asked by the staff if he wanted to be with his family once again, the little kid replied with ' i believe i will see them again because i always tell Jesus that '.... I BELIEVE!!!!! such powerful words coming from the mouth of an innocent 8 year old. No wonder always tell us to be like a child in our faith.

Mark 10:15

Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.

a child's faith is so pure and trusting that they never seem to question the How and Why of things. They just know that if you pray to Jesus and patiently wait... all will be well soon. They solemnly know that when they are good, God will reward them and if they're bad, God is not happy. such blind faith!!!!

At some point in our lives we were all like this, simply trusting God for everything. Blindly BELIEVING... then how come that as we grow older and supposedly wiser... how come we question God more...we question life more.

I have talked about faith and believing in God so many times but the real essence of faith is being childlike... trusting God with everything..telling HIM about what is it that worries us and then letting go... You already asked HIM to take over then we should allow HIM to work on it.

Certified Worry Freak!!!!


| Posted on 7/15/2008 05:32:00 PM | Posted in

Do you want to meet a certified worry freak??? Someone who worries about everything and anything under the sun, someone who thinks that bad situations are good coz good things will follow afterwards but then believes not to rejoice on good things because this will definitely be followed by something far more tragic and would outweigh the good million times over? someone who's 200% PESSIMISTIC????? then... meet the one and only ....MMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH!!!!! yep everyone that's me! do i sound so proud of it??? no i'm not.. but i just can't help it.... i worry... and i worry a lot.

i don't know what happened in my past that triggered this hyperactive 'worry hormones' in my body. I worry a lot when i have a problem which i think is natural... but then when everything's so quiet and peaceful, i still worry coz i think something BIG is going to happen soon..and when i say BIG... i mean BIG BAD THING!!!! now THAT is not natural.

Well come on, give me a break.. what i have gone through the past say...hhhmm.. 3-4 years is not easy, being alive now and so sane is something i thank God for everyday. Not anyone can overcome the trials i have been through especially my last year which was the 'mother' of all tragedies and heartbreaks!!!! am i exaggerating??? a bit i gez hehehehe! but seriously, i have enough experience of those small 'ups' and 'BIG DOWNS' as proof of why i am such a pessimistic person.

But then again, the mere fact that i am aware of it made me know in my heart that i can find a way to find a solution for it. I have my family who's there forever to support me no matter what, i have few good friends who were and still are my angels who picks me up when i'm about to fall ( picks me up just in time!!! gggrrr... why can't they come earlier??? hehehehe.) and of course there's my work.. the best ever therapy to forget!!! These solutions worked for me in the past, that's why i failed to understand why it stopped working for me the past year or so. Things turned out from bad to worst. Anxiety attacks, ultimate depression.. i was physically and emotionally sick. but it was all in the past... i was able to overcome it all somehow but i still feel so worried and afraid...

Until i realized where the real problem was.... i was trying to find a solution on my own... i forgot that i can ask for the help of the 'BIG GUY' up there.

Jesus spoke of earthly worries John 16:33 ' In this world you will have troubles, but take heart! I have overcome the world!!!'

I still worry.. but then i learned to lift it up to HIM and HIS assistants... My dear St. Joseph and Mama Mary and my favorite saint.. St. Rita.

I haven't changed... but i am working on it...everyday!!!!