Give Us This Day Prayer will bring my Will into Harmony with GOD!

Another crazy post from a crazy friend.... My zodiac sign is Taurus by the way...

Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight.
Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with.

Well.. actually.. she's kinda borrowed... hehehehe... this 2 year old baby is Anne Margret... and i'm not her mom.. just a neighbor and a godmother ( not even a fairy godmother!!!! hehehehe ).. my whole family dotes on her and yeah.. she is our own little bundle of joy even if we only borrow her once in a while.

January 12,2007... my father did not come home... we wondered..we waited...but he just didn't come home........


The Day I Grew Up :

January 13 morning was the day we found him... in a funeral parlor... stripped to nothing... just his body... lifeless..... seeing him made my insides turn.. it seemed so unreal... like i was watching a movie. I never dared to touch him because i wanted my memory of him to be that of a live human being, breathing and warm.

I went out and threw up... i wasn't able to cry.. i just threw up and i was hyper ventillating, i can't breathe and i felt like I'm gonna black out until i felt the hands of my aunt on my back. So many thoughts on my mind... how much money on my wallet to take my father out of that hell hole... how will i tell my family at home waiting for news from me... how will i tell my sister in Taiwan who's the only papa's girl among us.... HOW DO WE ALL GO ON AFTER THIS???? i bowed my head and prayed... i sought for guidance.

I stood up... no tears.. i asked my aunt if her memorial plan was updated.. i started calling people to arrange transportation because i realized we have to take my father's body to the province for the wake and burial... I called the office and notified them that i will not be able to work for a few days... I arranged money.. then i bought his burial clothes..... all the while i can hear people saying... my family was lucky they have me as eldest and that i was in control... but in reality... nobody really knew that i was so much hurting inside.. that i feel like a part of myself was trying to escape that reality but i know i have to face these things because no one else would. then i called my family and confirmed our worst fears.

That was the day I grew up.... i allowed everyone to grieve and i took care of all the things that needed to be done. From that day on until his burial, i was in charge while everyone had the time to cry in their own corner and mourn. From that day on until this very moment i am trying to hide that small child in me looking for his daddy.... that small child crying and trying to grasp and understand what happened ..... that small child hoping and believing that papa will come back and make things right again..... THAT SMALL CHILD has to be kept hidden.....i thought i succeeded.

Now.... going on 2 years since that tragic day... I still feel lost, it is only now that i am starting to feel the pain and the full impact of everything that has happened... I'm simply...LOST....more confused now than before.

I didn't know that growing up can be so painful.

Somebody forwarded me below.... be amused!!!!

CAN YOU CRY UNDER WATER? 

HOW IMPORTANT DOES A PERSON HAVE TO BE BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED ASSASSINATED INSTEAD OF JUST MURDERED?

 
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO "PUT YOUR TWO CENTS IN"... BUT IT'S ONLY A "PENNY FOR YOUR THOUGHTS"? WHERE'S THAT EXTRA PENNY GOING TO? 

ONCE YOU'RE IN HEAVEN, DO YOU GET STUCK WEARING THE CLOTHES YOU WERE BURIED IN FOR ETERNITY?

 
WHY DOES A ROUND PIZZA COME IN A SQUARE BOX? 

WHAT DISEASE DID CURED HAM ACTUALLY HAVE?

 
HOW IS IT THAT WE PUT MAN ON THE MOON BEFORE WE FIGURED OUT IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO PUT WHEELS ON LUGGAGE? 
  
WHY IS IT THAT PEOPLE SAY THEY "SLEPT LIKE A BABY" WHEN BABIES WAKE UP LIKE EVERY TWO HOURS? 
  
IF A DEAF PERSON HAS TO GO TO COURT, IS IT STILL CALLED A HEARING? 
  
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? 
  
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? 
  
WHY DO DOCTORS LEAVE THE ROOM WHILE YOU CHANGE? 
THEY'RE GOING TO SEE YOU NAKED ANYWAY. 
  
WHY IS "BRA" SINGULAR AND "PANTIES" PLURAL? 
  
WHY DO TOASTERS ALWAYS HAVE A SETTING THAT BURNS THE TOAST TO A HORRIBLE CRISP, WHICH NO DECENT HUMAN BEING WOULD EAT? 
  
IF JIMMY CRACKS CORN AND NO ONE CARES, WHY IS THERE A STUPID SONG ABOUT HIM? 
  
CAN A HEARSE CARRYING A CORPSE DRIVE IN THE CARPOOL LANE ? 
  
IF THE PROFESSOR ON GILLIGAN'S ISLAND CAN MAKE A RADIO OUT OF A COCONUT, WHY CAN'T HE FIX A HOLE IN A BOAT? 

WHY DOES GOOFY STAND ERECT WHILE PLUTO REMAINS ON ALL FOURS? 
THEY'RE BOTH DOGS? 

IF WILE E. COYOTE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL THAT ACME CRAP, WHY DIDN'T HE JUST BUY DINNER? 

IF CORN OIL IS MADE FROM CORN, AND VEGETABLE OIL IS MADE FROM VEGETABLES, WHAT IS BABY OIL MADE FROM? 
  
IF ELECTRICITY COMES FROM ELECTRONS, DOES MORALITY COME FROM MORONS? 
  
DO THE ALPHABET SONG AND TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR HAVE THE SAME TUNE? 
  
WHY DID YOU JUST TRY SINGING THE TWO SONGS ABOVE? 

hehehehe.. smile!!!