Sometime in 2005, i made this blog and posted it on my friendster blog account. Although it still generally reflects how i feel about love and happy endings... things changed a lot since then.... let me post it here...
...on love and happy endings...
I never thought LOVE will bring out this sentimental side of me. What’s worst… expressin’ it and postin’ it on Blog is gettin’ quite addictive…He!he! oh well… it’s better to share my tots… might help someone out there… who knows!!!!!
I’m a HOPELESS ROMANTIC… I never thought I was until lately. Maybe I had it in me I just didn’t know it. The problem is, Hopeless Romantics never fail to believe in LOVE AND HAPPY ENDINGS not knowing that it’s just not always possible to have both. That’s why some people decide to be the opposite of it and become so pessimistic on Love…. Like me before… But then again… sometimes things change… Now I believe that it wouldn’t hurt to keep trying… who knows one day I might just find that I have everything I need to make me happy… and stay in Love just the same. Happiness is not having what you want but wanting what you have… I decided to be happily in Love. I decided to think of the happy thoughts instead of the sad, hoping that someday I might get the good things I want.
Loving someone and feeling Loved back is the most special feeling. Love… such a small word to encompass so many emotions. It brings happiness and security which becomes a big motivating factor to a person and yet it also gives a different kind of pain… one that never stops hurting. For me Love has always been a big mystery… it still is and maybe it would always be..
I’ve waited all my life to to find someone I could share my heart and my mind with… I didn’t look… I didn’t ask… I bid my time and just waited… waited for that to happen. And when it did… I can’t believe it happened to me… in the most imperfect situation I have never imagined myself to be.
I’ve read somewhere that “ there will be few times in our lives when all our instincts will tell us to do something that defies logic, upsets our plans and may even seem crazy to others. When that happens we do it… listen to our instincts… follow our heart and ignore everything else, logic, odds, COMPLICATIONS and just go for it!!! I laughed at this… I told myself that this is not going to happen to me because I am the most logical person I know. I don’t usually follow my heart because if I do, I don’t follow logic like I always do. The problem with following my heart is that it takes me to places and situations where I shouldn’t be… and I get hurt… I am so afraid to get hurt… so afraid of rejection… that’s why I built my wall… I raised the window of the car I called ‘MYSELF’ to protect my feelings from hurt… pain…sadness. Because I am most vulnerable…. Most weak when hurt. But then things changed. I broke through my comfort zone and I pushed myself to do things beyond what I am comfortable with… and now I am afraid… it just scared me that I have been so used to being alone for so long and that all this feeling is so new to me . But then…for once I selfishly decided to follow my heart and find my own happiness…. No matter what.
Sometimes I am happy… sometimes I’m not… although I seem happy. The face can mask a thousand emotion but it can easily mask what the heart truly feels… sometimes the happiest face may be masking the most hurting heart… it’s ok… this is my decision and I wanted this… I allowed myself to be tamed. I’ll end this with my most favorite quote from the Little Prince of Antoine Van St. Exupery…. One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself to be tamed.
Although my intention when i wrote that blog was to share my thoughts on love and happy endings, it seemed to have this melancholy, wishful effect, well... what i was going through that time can be called that... kinda...hhhmm.. sad. But like what i said above, things changed a lot now, almost 3 years after writing that blog. let me share this quote :
1 corinthians 13: 4-8
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love is a very special feeling and now i know whatever i have been through in the past in the name of love, i did because i know i have found that one person worthy of sharing myself with. I did not ask for him.. he came to me.. by divine intervention!!!! now isn't that funny??? but true...
There was only me and god who know about that secret that's why when he came along, i knew it was God's work. But who said everything's smooth sailing after that and we lived happily ever after???? oh no.... very very far from it... but then bottom line, after all this time, after all the pain, the conflicts and the difficulties.... hehehehe..... SECRET!!!! details will be in next blog to come!!!! :)
I am happy.. I am happily in love!!!!
LOVE MAY TAKE LONG BUT IT WILL ALWAYS TAKE YOU TO WHERE YOU BELONG. ENJOY THE JOURNEY YOUR HEART WILL KNOW WHEN IT'S FINALLY HOME.
here's a small secret to share... just yesterday... God sent me HIS affirmation that no matter how difficult my journey to this LOVE may be... HE wil always be there for me.... 'WITH A SMILE!'
