Give Us This Day Prayer will bring my Will into Harmony with GOD!

HAPPY


Sadness had been close as my next of kin
Then Happy came one day, chased my blues away
My life began when Happy smiled
Sweet, like candy to a child
Stay here and love me just a while
Let sadness see what Happy does
Let Happy be where Sadness was
Happy, that's you
You made my life brand new
Lost as a little lam was I till you came in
My life began when Happy smiled
Sweet, like candy to a child
Stay here and love me just a while
Let sadness see what Happy does
Let Happy be where Sadness was
(Till now)


Where have I been?
What lifetime was I in?
Suspended between time and space
Lonely until Happy came smiling up at me
Sadness had no choice but to flee
I said a prayer so silently
Let Sadness see what Happy does
Let Happy be where Sadness was till now

I have never specifically prayed to God about something i really want. My prayers always tell HIM to look into my heart's desires and compare it with my needs and just give me enough. I never asked for anything that I REALLY WANT... I am always content with what comes... if what I REALLY WANT happens to be given.. then i consider that as a bonus already. I thought that was being selfless... but my friend told me.. our GOD is a very specific God... we must always ask HIM what we REALLY WANT... and HE will give it to us in HIS own time.....

so now.... allow me to be selfish.....

1. I want a new cellphone... any high end Sony Ericsson or Samsung.


If the time comes that i can buy that.... everything else will follow...... that is the time that i am at my most selfish!!!!

" there's a light in me that shines brightly... they can try but they can't take that away from me.... -- MARIAH CAREY "



i can only cry to express what i trully feel...
i can only hope that someday everything will fall into place....
i can only pray so that i can accept what i do not understand....
i can only let go the thing i try so hard to hold tight into my hands....

i can only believe.. that there's this light in me that shines brightly...... they can try but they can't take that away from me..............................

I always complain that everyone around doesn't understand me... but then i did a lot of things and said a lot of things the past few days that made me realize..... the people around me is not the problem.... tracing back the reason why i'm so miserable....... the root cause was me.... has always been ME.... it was me all the time....

I believe i am a good person and that in the deepest part of my heart, i only want what's best for everyone... and that i always try to be there for everyone who needs me and that there's no question that i will and i can do everything for those I love. But then how come i still drive those i love the most away from me... somewhere there's a problem for sure.... and it's not them.... it was me... IT IS ME!


The truth is, all the while pala... all this time pala, i am expecting.... hoping for something in return for everything i do. I am hoping for a reward...an appreciation... a pat on the back... a hug.. a kiss... a cnfirmation / affirmation for every good deed. Of course, when it doesn't happen, that's when i get sulky, moody and insecure. and that's not being good at all.. that's not being kind... that's downright being SELFISH!!! AND STUPID!!!!


Love should always be unconditional.... 1 Corinthians 13.... everything should and must go back to 1 Corinthians 13.....

I am a simple person who craves for love... who hopes for love.... and i try my best everyday and everytime to show love... but now i understand the reason why i fail and why I am still left behind... it's because i am selfish.


for now, the realization hurt.... and i want to keep quiet and reflect on my own.... for now i want to keep my mouth SHUT.... nothing good to say... better not talk.